28 January 2012

Scary Good

So, as many of you who have this blog on your radar know, I am currently unemployed. This past week, though, I had a highly successful meeting with a recruiter named Susie at a national temp/recruiting agency. Yay, right?

Right, but there was something else. They required me to give a reference from my last job. That was a bit of a problem, as my supervisors from my last job adored my teaching, but were not really thrilled with how much time off I took.

There was a point in the interview, where I had to say something. "About my references," I started. I don't remember my exact words, but they boiled down to this.

I had some serious problems starting in September 2010, starting with a miscarriage, and I never quite bounced back.

I am a chronic depressive.

I am on medication, and I keep it in check with regular therapy and visits to my psychiatrist.

I had problems getting to work some days, especially with a long commute.

I said it. I laid everything down. It instantly turned a routine fill-out-the-I9-and-get-to-know-you interview into the most terrifying interview I have ever endured.

She rolled with it. Bless Susie, she took it in stride, appreciated my honesty, and suggested that the change of scenery and pace of temping might help me bounce out of my professional malaise. Not to mention the fact that I explicitly asked for assignments to which I can take the city bus. No more trips to PG county. No disrespect to the county or its inhabitants, but that alone is a huge weight off my shoulders.

The interview went on for another half an hour, at least, during which she asked me about my interests, and what kind of assignments I'd be interested in.

But I did it. Even if she'd put on a bland mask and hustled me out there as soon as possible, it still would have been worth it. In therapy, I deal a lot with being me, not just the person I think others want or need to see. Well, me is a chronic depressive and screwed up her last job kind of spectacularly. It's not the only facet of who I am, but it is one that I should acknowledge and learn from.